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Dear Bill:
As a fellow Southern Baptist, I can sympathize with your predicament. Although
when I was president I merely lusted in my heart, I have to admit that had I
served another term, my lust might have broken free and moved down my body. God
bless you in this time of trial.
Jimmy Carter
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Dear Bill:
OK, so I'll never be president, but at least Donna Rice was a babe!
Gary Hart
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My Dear Chap:
This is a bit of a sticky wicket, but if I were you, I should ask that charming
Jay Leno fellow to see you through. Pop onto his show, admit that you made an
ass of yourself and all will be forgiven.
Hugh Grant
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Bill:
They entrapped me, they framed me, they caught me in a motel with drugs and a
prostitute, but I bounced back and so can you!
Mayor Marion Berry
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Dear Bill:
Look at the bright side. At least you weren't caught wearing Monica's thong
underwear. By the way, did you catch my sports show? I'm back on TV for the
fall.
Marv Albert
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Dear Mr. President:
You may have noticed that I'm not jumping on the impeachment bandwagon
(note: this was written a week ago). Let me assure you, you're not the only one
in Congress who thinks oral sex isn't really sex.
Warm personal regards,
Newt
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Dear Bill:
Hang in there, pal! By the way, Kathie Lee sends Hillary her regards and invites
her to come on her show anytime.
Frank Gifford
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Dear Mr. President:
Now I'm on the Supreme Court. I'm here for life! And there's nothing anyone can
do about it! So there!
Justice Clarence (Long Dong) Thomas
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Dear Former Worthy Opponent:
Whoo, Boy! All I can say is, Bob Dole would never have gotten himself into this
mess. Not Bob Dole! Not before Viagra, anyway!
Bob Dole
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Dear Mr. President:
I think it's terrible what they are doing to you, and I want you to know that if
you need to get away from it all, you're welcome to bring Buddy and stay with me
on my Wonderland Ranch for as long as you want. I'll move the Cub Scout Pack to
a tent on the lawn and you can have their room.
Michael Jackson
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Dear Fellow Sinner:
Jesus forgives you and so do I. ( Do you have any spare change? The collection
box is low!) Rev. Jimmy Swaggart
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Dear Bill:
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
Jim Bakker
P.S. Jessica sends regards and wants to get together with you sometime.
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Dear Bill:
Next time (if there is a next time), don't let them get you on tape. Big
mistake!!
With sympathy,
Rob Lowe
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Dear Mr. President,
We invite you to be the cover subject of our next issue.
Editor, Cigar magazine

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